Melissa Bryan – Return of the Woman

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Melissa Bryan’s ‘Return of the Woman’ is available for free via Bandcamp below.

If you happen to follow me on twitter you may have noticed I tweeted about Melissa Bryan, calling her my alter-ego. My reason for the comment is because this album is probably what I would create if I were as rocking and kick-ass as she is. (Note: I too would “eat Republicans for breakfast” – especially if they were hot.) After hearing it, I ran home to my wife and made her listen to it. As soon as the first song played she immediately nodded her head and a look of dread blanketed her face. I could hear her inner thoughts and they said, “Shit. I’m going to be hearing her sing this non-stop, never getting the tune or lyrics right.”

Whatever, I am totally getting Melissa’s lyrics dead on. “This JOB is contagious!” Wifey: “For the love of God, I am positive she’s not singing that!” Whatever. As Melissa would say, “I’m blessed with all this badness!”

“Oh yeah, All right, ho hum, tonight” partnered with a drink and a smile is all you need to know about how to survive the mundane 9-5 according to Melissa. Til Night is Melissa’s kick-off track on ‘Return of the Woman’ and the fun doesn’t stop there. The album is rocking, fun, political, and borderline communicable. Let me start off and admit that this album is not for everyone, which is good. I kind of don’t want to share it with the masses. I would rather enjoy it for myself, share it with those I know, and enjoy the fun times while listening to it.

This is scream-along chic music at its most fun. There isn’t a deadbeat song on the album. Instead it’s cleverly written, wittily played, and spontaneously infused with a bit of feminism. I would do a song by song analysis but my wife is annoyed with me singing each song as loud as I can and I might be faced with divorce papers if I don’t stop soon. For those who don’t know, when you’re reviewing songs/albums you tend to play them over and over and a few more times after that. So, me singing, “Fishy Face Ladies! And their bulging eyes!” isn’t as sexy as I think it is. I don’t know why. I totally rock Melissa Bryan.

So about Melissa’s unmistakable voice: I wonder how many people will think of the 70’s singer Melanie Safka? Seriously, I love Melanie’s ‘Animal Crackers’ song among her other known hits. Mmm. . . animal cracker pizza.

Melissa’s voice is so unique that it dumbfounds me she sounds like someone else. What the fuck are the odds that there are two people out there with such unique voices? I would try and claim they were distantly related (both chics, both political, both making fun music, both blonde, and both have that distinctive voice) but I don’t think it’s true. Even so, I happen to love Melanie and have for years. If I knew Melanie on a personal level I would call her up and say, “Hey, Melanie, this chic Melissa Bryan kicks ass”. And in my pretend world Melanie would look up Melissa and say, “Hot shit, Melissa does kick ass”.

Sorry, “got carried off by internal debate” (Melissa’s lyrics are all in quotes in case you haven’t caught on). See, despite what wifey claims, I am totally singing these lyrics right. “I am defiant, we will not listen to them!”

Check Melissa’s album out. As I said, it’s fun and rocking. If you want my opinion on any one song, I assure you I have colorful commentary that’s quite loquacious and I’m more than happy to sing to it off-key and pitchy, so feel free to ask me. Otherwise, be “finally fucking set free” and check it out below.

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About Melissa Bryan:

There’s not much written about her so I grabbed what I could. Melissa Bryan is an indie rocker living in Austin, Texas strumming out feminism and singing to her cute dog. She also sits on the Girls Rock Austin Board of Directors.

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